Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
