i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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