I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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