I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
