all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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