Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
