Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
