i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
