Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
