if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
