tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Farmville is her only friend.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
