The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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