Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
