In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
