my phone needs a breathalizer
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
