the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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