i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
