You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
