i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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