do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
