Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
