Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
