Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
