I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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