Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
