Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
