Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
