Texts From Last Night · thirrteen's Favorites

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thirrteen's Favorites Texts:

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.

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(785): View more from Kansas

That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.

Fav 5 1533 653
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