Texts From Last Night · realist's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry duuuval hasn't picked any favorites yet.

realist's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

(1-352): View more from Florida

Oh God. You're going to jail

Fav 30 6472 1963
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

i drank out of a bidet.

Fav 16 1084 4675
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(705): View more from Ontario

You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.

Fav 12 4618 1184
share tweet
(408): View more from California

My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.

Fav 5 1492 2459
share tweet
(647): View more from Ontario

making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.

Fav 8 1480 3181
share tweet
(319): View more from Iowa

Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.

Fav 12 2768 1608
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

(1-817): View more from Texas

Actually, she's fat now, so...

(817): View more from Texas

Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

Fav 27 2306 5538
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT