Texts From Last Night · omfglewzr's Favorites

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omfglewzr's Favorites Texts:

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(240): View more from Maryland

Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?

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(810): View more from Michigan

Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.

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(208): View more from Idaho

They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"

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(904): View more from Florida

at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people

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(970): View more from Colorado

Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.

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