Texts From Last Night · fluthulu's Favorites

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fluthulu's Favorites Texts:

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I love you more than champagne and correct grammar

Fav 19 4200 1202
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(369): View more from California

Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?

Fav 7 989 1329
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(914): View more from New York

Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.

Fav 20 3126 1118
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

Fav 6 1682 811
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(404): View more from Georgia

Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?

Fav 7 2280 1037
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(917): View more from New York City

she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.

Fav 7 1053 1830
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(859): View more from Kentucky

and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass

Fav 3 1370 690
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(541): View more from Oregon

theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?

Fav 12 1034 2380
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(859): View more from Kentucky

When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"

Fav 6 3572 1912
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