Texts From Last Night · bensanders's Favorites

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bensanders's Favorites Texts:

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night

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(805): View more from California

We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.

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(623): View more from Arizona

just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.

(623): View more from Arizona

and by single i mean slutty

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.

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