Texts From Last Night · Omniomaga101's Favorites

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Omniomaga101's Favorites Texts:

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(618): View more from Illinois

I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.

Fav 4 1801 563
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(219): View more from Indiana

Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon

Fav 7 1479 693
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material

Fav 6 1683 516
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(801): View more from Utah

I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

Fav 2 1131 576
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(770): View more from Georgia

I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores

Fav 0 685 562
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML

Fav 8 1874 796
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(770): View more from Georgia

So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?

(404): View more from Georgia

So many things can go wrong tonight.

Fav 3 1530 608
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(404): View more from Georgia

Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.

Fav 6 2281 681
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