Texts From Last Night · EGonzalez55's Favorites

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EGonzalez55's Favorites Texts:

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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do

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(330): View more from Ohio

It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown

Fav 14 3471 2263
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(314): View more from Missouri

There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."

Fav 17 7419 1363
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(630): View more from Illinois

wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?

(816): View more from Missouri

yes. helicopter.

Fav 19 5930 1334
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.

Fav 48 11313 1840
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(503): View more from Oregon

do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?

Fav 37 9189 3480
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

God wants them to get laid too.

Fav 59 8464 1869
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(903): View more from Texas

Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

Fav 14 7637 1410
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