Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
