NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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