omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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