to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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