I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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