Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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