pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dick very happy bro
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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