I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
