i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
