Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
