I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
