u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
