HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
