I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
