Soap is not a condiment
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
