At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
